The Old Baguette has created another questionnaire. Readers read books. Many then review and rate them on Amazon.com. Reviewers describe some books as masterpieces of mediocrity and give them 3 star ratings. These are the ho hums. Reviewers describe other books as poorly written, boring, worse than mediocre and give them 2 star ratings. These are the mini-disasters. Finally, a few books get a dreaded to-read-this-book-you-have-to-be-out-of-your-mind review and an equally dreaded 1 star rating. These are the mega-disasters. In the opinion of the reviewers/raters, these books aren't worth reading, yet the reviewers/raters read them from the first capital letter to the last punctuation mark. They started them and finished them. Instead of tossing the book aside as a time waster or worse and then finding a good book to read, the reviewer/rater plugged along until the rotten book was finished. Why?
Now, the only books the Old Baguette will consider reading have 4 star or 5 star ratings. She eschews (a word that would appear only in a pretentious ho-hum or worse book) eschews all books that are ho-hum or worse. When there are so many 4 and 5 star books out there, why would she --or anyone else -- begin reading a 3, 2, or 1 star book and then take the time to finish it? A book really can't be reviewed and rated until it's been completed. Why have so many, many ho-hums, mini-disasters, and mega-disasters been read from start to finish? Shouldn't all readers, like the Old Baguette, eschew books rated 3 stars or worse?
Yes.
Alas, reviewers, like fingerprints and snowflakes, are so unique that they sometimes give 1 star ratings to 5 star books and 5 star ratings to 1 star books. How does the Old Baguette deal with this problem? She reads a few pages of every book. If she likes it, she keeps on reading. If she doesn't like it, she abandons the unsatisfactory book for another. Shouldn't all readers do the same?
Yes.
The Old Baguette really wonders why readers feel compelled to finish books they don't like and has designed the following questionnaire to get answers. If you feel compelled to finish books just because you started reading them, this questionnaire is for you. Perhaps you were traumatized as a child. If so, you must understand the nature of your trauma so you can stop reading bad books to their end. If this questionnaire isn't for you, go to your doctor's office and look for a Reader's Digest. No matter what the year or the month you will find a questionnaire, a poll, a survey, or a real life story that will suit you and inspire you.
Questionnaire:
I was traumatized as a child by one of the following experiences.
o My mother repeatedly told me that she would send our library of books to the word hungry children of China if I didn't finish my book.
o In first grade, we made snakes by writing the titles of books we had read on circles which we stapled together. My snake was short, so I got new circles by giving the one book I'd read different titles. My snake got longer and longer until it reached the Principal's office.
o I got one book a year for my birthday. If I wanted to read, I read that book -- even if I didn't
like it.
o I didn't learn to read until I was twelve. My family owned one book. I used to hold it, count to twenty, and then turn a page until I reached the last page. What was on the page didn't matter.
o Andrew Carnegie didn't build a library in my town. Our school didn't have a library either. We read the Dick and Jane books and the letters in our names.
o Our dog Spot ate my comic book.
o Now an adult, I don't stop reading until I've reached the book's penultimate (another word that appears only in pretentious ho hum or worse books) penultimate chapter, and then I think: "Hey, I've read this far. I might as well finish. And then I'll review and rate the book for Amazon.com."
o A different traumatic experience that isn't listed above, e.g., your dog Spot was actually a Maine Coon tabby. That cat was plenty big enough to eat a comic book.
* * * * * * * * * *
The Old Baguette hopes that the reviewers/raters who take the above questionnaire will become as sensitive in their reviews and ratings of books as they are in their reviews and ratings of beer and pick-ups.
(Keep in mind these final thoughts: The Old Baguette's reviews and ratings tend to be inaccurate, and Blogs are not books.)
Survey Answers:
ReplyDelete1. My mother forbid me to read the last chapter of a book. Why?
http://navfin.blogspot.com/2011/07/all-about-human-body-by-bernard-glemser.html
2. In first grade, I was assigned to the starlings reading group (dumb readers). I did not make the blue birds (average) or the lofty cardinals (excellent readers). One of the cardinals was reading War and Peace while I struggled with "See Spot. See Spot run."
3. The one book I got in my childhood I was not allowed to read the last chapter...see comment 1.
4. I owned one book. What was on the last page was intensely interesting. I was not allowed to read it. See comment 1.
5. Andrew Carnegie sent the "book-mobile" to our town. The driver/librarian took one look at my starling's reading group tee shirt and threw me off the book-mobile. I did find some Andy's steel beams in the Hulton Bridge.
6. Our dog Spot was taken to the pound after he ate the last chapter in the book that I wasn't allowed to read. My mother had high hopes that I would read the chapter at the age of 25 and provide her many grand children.
7. I tried to look up penultimate in the dictionary. Spot ate that too.
8. The cat pee'd on the Thesaurus and buried it in it's litter box.
I have a sweatshirt that states "So many books...so little time..." Never really knew what that meant, but I did notice that when ever I wore the sweatshirt women would smile at me. Women ordinarily ignore me as though I am invisible. Men never smiled at me...only women, only when I wear that sweatshirt. It was refreshing.
It is my opinion that people often feel that they must get there money's worth out of a book. It is a cruel assumption because then not only does the book waste your money, but also your time. The price of a book pales in comparison to the to the opportunity cost in hours lost in reading a bad book. I have few 3 stars and lower reviews. I have many, many, way too many excellent books with a book marker sunk 1/3 to 1/2 way through the book that in some manner got waylaid. I could probably not buy a new book for next decade and continue to read non-stop.
Regarding the accuracy of public opinion, Anne Tyler won a Pulitzer prize for Breathing Lessons. The book has a 3.3 average stars on Amazon. There are 35 one and two star ratings out of 111 reviews, about 32%...for a book that won a Pulitzer in 1989! Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix got a 4.4 average rating. There were 415 one and two star ratings out of 5934 reviews about, 7% of the total. Not really a fair comparison, but there you have it.