Do Geists Polter?

Poltergeists have moved into my apartment and now control my computer, my telephone, and even parts of me. I blame poltergeists because the tech support geeks cannot explain much less fix my computer. My font is now minute, impossible to read. E-mails accumulate. And while the size of my font diminishes, the size of my legs expand. Most days they look like oaks, massive and inflexible. Occasionally, they look like sequoias. I began swimming at the Y this week. Good therapy. I improve. Nonetheless, on land I remain a Captain Hook with two wooden legs and stiff hands. Creaky and creepy. My voice mail is also acting up. Messages are garbled. If I tried to use my electric skillet, would I start a fire?